I was excited to see some great conversation happening in the comments of my piece “Top 3 Mistakes Men Make in Online Dating.” Both men and women shared their experiences with online dating and debated over the mistakes and fixes I offered in the piece.
Throughout it all, what became most apparent during the discussion is that men didn’t want a “don’t” list. What they want is some advice on what to DO instead. How do you reconcile a trillion different preferences in order to offer advice on what to do to be successful with online dating? All I can do is set some parameters and offer my advice based on my own experiences and hope it helps at least a few people out there.
Most people can agree they don’t like scalding hot coffee, but it’s tough to get people to agree on how they like their coffee. I used to think this was shallow advice, but it all comes down to honesty.
You know, so people can get a sense of “your interests.” Bullshit.Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick!Some forums can only be seen by registered members.Sure, dating in general can be disappointing and tricky, but the most common websites seem to only be concerned with bottom lines and stacking their cash.Dating sites emphasize physical beauty over interests.If he covers all his bases and is himself, he'll do OK. DEAR HELPFUL: Many readers wrote to point out that the problem "Dateless" is experiencing could be more about the idiosyncratic subscription rules on some dating websites than about the writer or the women he is contacting.Other experienced users shared their stories: DEAR ABBY: I can tell "Dateless" why he's not getting "thanks, but no thanks" notes from the women he contacts on the online dating service: Those women are most likely overwhelmed with responses.So it's entirely possible that the women "Dateless" has contacted were inactive or expired members who were never able to see his messages.We would like to reassure "Dateless" that the problem may not be him.We are middle-aged and have been together for two years.Even though we deactivated our memberships in the dating sites we were part of, we still get emails daily that "'So-and-So' sent you a message." It appears these sites still show our profiles as active, allowing people to try to contact us.